Monday, February 29, 2016

When is enough finally enough?

I can't seem to stop feeling down on my self. 

I still haven't finished my Harry Potter french book (eventhough I gave today as my deadline), I'm losing fitness motivation (stuck at a plateau), I'm breaking out all over my face, I've given up on trying to look nice or trendy (no makeup, no hair do, no stylish clothes, no nothing), I can't find a pair of friggin glasses that suit me, I got notification today that I'm losing my temp job (back to casual I go), I keep struggling with understanding our benefits coverage, I'm still sick, we're far off from buying a house, we stilllllll have some debt, our budget is waivering, I cried three times today, and amongst a million other various small to large degree stresses (forgotten grocery items to family emergencies), worst of all, I can't seem to explain or justify any of my feelings. 

I have no idea what kind of path I am making and I seem to have abandoned all optimism. The longer this negativity goes on, the more petty I get about anything and everything, as your can see fron my rant above. 

My current plan: abandon all focus and hope that life will gently guide me where I'm supposed to end up, instead of me struggling to figure it out and therefore forcing something that is not so natural. 

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