Wednesday, October 21, 2015

Confidence vs. Arrogance

I am not well educated when it comes to this topic, but that doesn't mean I don't struggle with it all the time.

I want to be someone who exudes confidence. Someone who can walk in to a room and not hesitate because of what people might think about me. Sadly, this is a very rare occasion for me. The closest I get to walking in a room with my head held high is when I go to volleyball, since it's something that is basically a part of me now. However, sometimes I find myself going a little overboard in the volleyball world. My intent is never viscous. I never mean to make others doubt themselves or feel bad about their skill level, I am simply trying to get myself feeling pumped up and confident, but I know for a fact that it has, from time to time, come across as arrogant.

Recently I've noticed that I'm not the only one who falls victim to this over excessive ego boost that can actually end up causing some bruising. The other day I caught my husband being equally as guilty. He made the following comment: "I am on a whole other level compared to him."

Now Mark wasn't saying this within earshot of the person he was talking about, but I couldn't help but think, what if the other guy had heard? I can only assume that it probably would have hurt his feelings. Granted, I know that Mark's sole intention was simply to state that Mark was an excellent player, an ego boost for himself, but heard by the wrong ears at the wrong time, this can easily be interpreted as full blown arrogance.

I'm not sure why all of a sudden this simple comment, something I normally wouldn't have even thought twice about, rubbed me the wrong way on that particular day, especially since it's something I've been guilty of multiple times....maybe I'm maturing?

Regardless of the reason, I felt like I needed to address it within. Sure Mark and I have been playing volleyball for several years, and we've both been complimented dozens of times on our skill/level of play (especially considering neither of played in college or university), but what right does any of that give us to talk like we're better than anyone else. We all started somewhere, we're all just at different parts of our journey.

So I find myself asking, how do I make sure I don't go overboard trying to exude confidence. How do I keep myself from plummeting down that pathway of negativity towards others, in order to build myself up.

How do you keep yourself from tipping past the border of confidence into arrogance?

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