Wednesday, August 8, 2018

Make Up Routine

When it comes to my everyday make-up routine I keep it pretty simple. I'd like to believe it's because I think that's all I really need, but mostly it's because I don't know how to do anything more and am too lazy or timid to try.

So here are the steps for my daily makeup routine:

1. Rinse face with luke-warm water & pat dry with towel
2. Merle Norman eyebrow powder to fill in my brows
3. MAC "Prism" blush/bronzer across my cheekbones, sides of forehead, & nose
4. Chap-stick + tinted gloss (usually bertz-bees & whatever is on sale)
5. Mascara (whatever is on sale at the grocery store when I run out)
6. Sometimes I use my Loreal cover up stick for blemishes & under my eyes, but only when I really feel I need it

Yep, that's it. 
No, I didn't skip a step.
No, I didn't leave anything out. 

I am a true believer in "less is more," and I really hate the way "a lot" of make up feels on my face, so I don't feel compelled to change up the extent of my regular routine. That being said, I do wish that I had a little something extra to make myself stand out, without really masking myself. 


Tuesday, July 10, 2018

Questions For The Future

Some questions are deep and meaningful, while others are simply curious. 

Here are 10 questions for future Lindsay:

1. How old do I look?
2. Am I still playing volleyball?
3. What car do I drive?
4. Where have I traveled?
5. Am I happy?
6. Did I break any more bones?
7. Who contributed the most to my changes?
8. What length is my hair?
9. Did I ever figure out the handstand?
10. Is life any easier?

Life takes us in all different directions, some predictable, others not. Some paths seem more clear than others, but that doesn't mean its wrong to follow murky waters. Where has the water taken you?


Sunday, June 24, 2018

When you

When you:

challenge me
I rise to the occasion.

hurt me
I shut down.

forgive me
I breathe a sigh of relief.

ignore me
I doubt you.

love me
I feel it.

support me
I embrace it.

I lose control.

I hurt.


Wednesday, June 20, 2018

Finding Distance

Some of us are on a chain where our insecurities only let us go as far as we already know is safe. Periodically we may gain a link or two, allowing us to reach a little bit further, to experience new things than before but, this doesn't mean we will ever have the strength to ultimately break free. Outsiders will wonder why doing what was once easy, now seems impossible. It might not feel reasonable to them, or yourself, but that doesn't make it any less real. 


Friday, June 15, 2018


Some days I hold my thoughts near and dear to my heart yet, other days I can't help but let them pour out of me. 

Lately, my thoughts are messy.

I feel messy. 


Monday, May 21, 2018

Outside My Window

The trees sway in a rhythmic choas. The sun glistens high in the evening spring sky. The light bounces sharp off of the newly acquired, but still not hooked up, gas barbeque. The pollen looks heavy, yet floats swiftly through the breeze. I notice a faint film built up on the sliding screen door. Normally I'd be inclined to go clean it, but today, not even the slightest urge comes over me. I rest quietly on the couch, legs intertwined with my husband. He's focused on the tv, and I find my gaze shifting to his face. He barely flinches, and yet he has so many subtle reactions to every passing moment. Eventually he turns and catches me starring. I don't look away. His lips curve, and his dimple shows deeper than ever. He kisses me through the air and turns back to the tv. This man, he is the best thing about me. 

Saturday, May 5, 2018

Not Uncommon

Trust is not uncommonly lost. 

It's when you stop looking for it that you need to start worrying. 


Tuesday, January 30, 2018

My My Love

My My Love by Joshua Radin - This is the song that I walked down the aisle to. There are so many things I love about this song: the rhythm, the acoustics, the lyrics. But, I couldn't tell you why in particular we chose this for my walk down the aisle song other than it just felt right. 

Trust what feels right.

"I've been running too fast to belong to anyone, but then you came along."


Friday, January 26, 2018

What do you do when you doubt what you love?

It's not an uncommon thing for me to feel self-doubt. To be honest, it's something I've struggled with since I can remember - always wondering  worrying, what others think, and therefore second guessing what I think. I strive for approval from others and immediately judge myself if I under achieve. 

After weeks of being "pushed out" of serve receive line-ups, not regularly setting for teams, being asked not to block, and getting packed in the face, it's not surprise that lately I've had a huge bout of self-doubt in relation to my volleyball life. 

I have been playing volleyball since 2001 - that's 17 years people. It's not new to me, yet compared to the last 17 years I have never felt more useless playing the sport I so desperately love, than in the last month.

If you're new to my blog, I'll give you a brief history of my volleyball life:

I was tall so most of my early years of volleyball were spent playing as a middle. In my grade 12 year of high school we got a new coach and he asked me to set because I was eager enough that I could always get to the ball (Let me be clear: IN NO WAY, SHAPE, OR FORM DID I HAVE SETTER HANDS...or even instincts).  Once I started playing drop-in and therefore co-ed volleyball, it quickly became clear that at not even 5'9" tall, I was not the most effective middle anymore. Now this didn't completely stop me from playing middle. In fact, for a couple seasons I did what I could to keep up with the high paced co-ed caliber play that I was engulfed in, but somewhere along the way, I started playing right side instead (a common place for an average girl playing co-ed 6s). Eventually, we started running a 6-2 system on a more regular basis and then, we realized there were a lot more girls out there that were even more effective than me on offense, so it was only a matter of convenience that I started setting on a pretty regular basis and letting everyone else swing. 

I was coached in elementary school, high school, and club ball with a basic foundation in all volleyball skills but I was never coached specifically as a setter so I definitely feel like I'm lacking a lot of specific key factors that "true setters" have, and lately people seem to notice. That being said, I've spent probably a good 5 years or so setting on a regular basis that I've let a lot of my defense and offensive skills fall by the way side. 

Needless to say, I'm feeling a little lost these days. I don't have a solid enough foundation to be a "natural" sought after setter, but I've also spent so much time not having to serve-receive and not putting balls down that, no one sees me as the strong well-rounded player I once was.  So, where do I go from here? Of course, I won't give up my love for the sport but I'm tired of coming home from volleyball every night feeling tense, frustrated, and useless. 

After some restless sleeps and a lot of self-reflection, I've realized it's time for me to refocus my attention. Instead of dwelling on what I lack, I've decided to put my energy into what I can control: improving.  I've never been one to be the best, but I love the satisfaction of progress. So here's to making strides in the right direction. Here's to not letting my 17 years of experience make me become a stagnant player. Here's to starting fresh.

(Basic drill: ball control)

You can't expect to improve unless you're willing to do the work. 


Sunday, January 14, 2018

30 before 30: Get a couples massage

Since I haven't yet turned 30, I decided it's still okay for me to continue with my 30 before 30 endeavor where I left off. And, it turns out, before I ditched the whole blogging thing for the last almost year, I actually did check off one of my items. 

In 2016 while Mark and I were in Mexico for the 2nd time ever, we decided to spoil ourselves with a couples massage from the spa at the resort we stayed at.


I still cannot believe we waited as long as we did to have a couples massage, let alone our first massage ever. It was so calming, relaxing, and therapeutic. 

I thought the nudity, and being touched by a stranger was totally going to erk me, but to be honest I didn't even think about those things. The most displeasing thing about the whole experience was that I was a wee chilly in the room from time to time, but I think that's is just a "me" thing -  I'm always cold. 

Anyway, happy to say I checked off another item from my 30 before 30 list, and can't wait for my next massage. 

Saturday, January 13, 2018


In a batch full of cupcakes everyone seems to notice the one that kind of, sort of,  just so happened to fall apart. 

Maybe you will be noticed for being flawed but, do not feel shame. Regardless of whether you are in the perfect form, or crumbling apart, we can all offer a delightful taste.

Stop looking at your flaws as your downfalls. Let them be your guide and strength. Let them direct you in your journey of self reflection and growth.


Thursday, January 11, 2018

I believe...

I believe in love, in all forms. 

Unconditional love, unrequited love, forever love, too much love, not enough love, temporary love, confused love, and all the other millions of types of love. 

In my eyes all love is true love...even if you haven't figured it out yet. 

Tuesday, January 9, 2018

Thunderstorm (2005)

The gray clouds gather, the storm is coming
I'm scared, I cry

The thunder is loud, and the lightning cutting
I run, I hide

The storm it follows me, I hear it close behind
I scream, I run

It catches up to me, and it tackles me down
I'm hurt, I'm alone

Hello Again!

After almost a full year away from the blogging world I've realized I missed the writing. 

So, I would like to officially say hello again! 

Although I don't have a particular direction that I plan to take this blog (did I ever really before?), I am eager to continue posting more regularly, even if only at the very least for my own therapy.