Sunday, August 30, 2015

Sunday Fashion Funday: Summer Time!

It seems to happen every year that I sort of end up having a "go-to" outfit for pretty much each season. You know, that one outfit combo that you always have in the back of your head in case you need to just quickly throw something together in a moments notice. That outfit that you know always makes you feel good when you put it on. That outfit that someone always seems to compliment one aspect of no matter how many times you wear it.

Well I thought I would share with you my 2015 go-to summer outfit :

-Dark wash jean shorts (American Eagle)
-Double arrow tank (Sportchek)
-Pinstripe collared button up (old)

I love this outfit because the jean shorts and tank are super easy to wear, the pinstripe button up gives it a kind of loungey/boyfriend feel, but the dark wash jeans paired with the right shoe can easily make it a more girly/dressy look. I can wear this outfit to BBQs, to the beach, to a restaurant, to family dinners, the options are endless, and if necessary, it's easy to interchange a different sweater or shoe to just give it a slightly different feel. Plus of course the options are endless for jewelry/accessories!

What has been your summer 2015 go to outfit?

Wednesday, August 26, 2015

How Do I Get Where I Need To Be?

I have been writing this post for about three months and I just can't seem to figure it out. Bottom line is, I'm not sure I am satisfied doing what I'm doing career wise, but that might just be because I have not really excelled in my personal endeavors lately. After writing and re-writing this post....this is where I am at.....stumped. See for yourself:

About 4 or 5 years ago I was at a point in my life where I had a steady, well-paying career, but yet I felt compelled to make the decision (now or never) to jump into a completely different career field. In the span of two years I went from being a Legal Administrative Assistant, to a Student/Waitress, to a Medical Radiography Technologist -- quite the transition. I have been an X-ray Tech for approximately 2 years now, and I am feeling that same itch again. I find myself asking, "can I really picture myself doing this for the next 20 years?" Sure there is a lot of opportunity for growth in the medical imaging field (i.e. Mammo, Bone Density, CT, MRI, Interventional, etc.), however all of it is really only lateral movement, and to be honest, I do not have much interest in those other imaging modalities. So, do I stay in x-ray and do the same thing in 20 years that I am doing today, or do I make a leap into something new?

I am constantly day dreaming lately about photography as a career, as well as a sports/fitness coordinator. I think I want to build something from the ground up, build a brand, build a name for myself, but I know nothing about how to even start, or if I'd even enjoy it. Is it worth the personal risk? I have a steady, reliable, well-paying career at the moment, so why give it up? Why not just make one of those things my hobby on my days off.

The answer: "I have no idea."

No matter how many times I write and re-write this post, I seem to talk myself into or out of any idea, motivation, or clarification I seem to come up with. I see companies like Fitness Blender, where it's a husband and wife who have created a name for themselves, help people better themselves, and seem to be spending their days doing what they love, and making money doing it (let's be honest we all need an income to survive). I want that! Now I haven't decided if I want to venture the path of photography, or volleyball/fitness, or somehow incorporate both....but I want that. I want to spend my days doing what I love and am passionate about, instead of it just being a side thought, a hobby.

The biggest challenge: I have no idea how to make this transition.

Do I just wake up tomorrow, buy a camera, sign up for a photography class, start working part time as a waitress again (so I can have more flexible hours), create a website, post an add on craigslist and just see where it gets me? Should Mark and I take out a loan, rent a facility where we can run a volleyball program, again start working part time as a waitress (so I can have more flexible hours), create a website, post an add on craigslist,and amongst the current volleyball community we know, and just see where it takes us?

.....I literally have no idea, and if it is that easy.....well then I'm simply just to scared right now. But why. I don't want to be scared. I just want to do it, I want it to happen. I guess making the transition from Legal Administrative Assistant to Medical Radiography Technologist was a lot easier because there was a set plan/schedule/courses to follow. If I venture into one of these other endeveours I only have my own plan, and what if my plan isn't good enough.

I really want to be one of those people who truly love what they do for work, and to be honest, I just feel like every minute that passes by is getting me further and further away from that even being a possibility, let alone a reality.

So, again, I am do I get there, how do I get where I need to be?


Tuesday, August 25, 2015

Local Paddleboarding!

Especially because of my twice broken foot this summer, I am so unbelievably surprised that I was able to pull off a headstand while on a paddleboard down at White Rock beach!  

Nothing beats summer time leisure activities out on the water....especially when you add a little challenge into the game! 

What have you challenged yourself with lately? 

Wednesday, August 19, 2015

10 Things I am Not Proud Of

1. I hesitate
I've always known this about myself, however, it recently came to light that not only do I do this myself, but I have a pretty good knack for noticing the moment someone else begins to hesitate as well (even when they are trying to hide it). Anytime plans are made, or attempting to be made, or anytime I am questioned about something, I will blurt out an answer and then immediately I will feel regret, and try to backtrack or hesitate in an attempt to give myself some sort of out. I usually almost always end up talking myself back up again and end up doing whatever I committed to, but this little mental yes/no dance I do with myself happens all to often. I want to commit, but worry that when the day comes I won't feel like doing it anymore, and I don't want to have to be forced, but then the day comes and I end up bringing myself to do it regardless because I know I shouldn't bail last minute. I think I will just leave it at that, because I am probably starting to sound crazy and I'm only on item number one.

2. I don't know how to do makeup

This probably comes as a shock since I am the youngest of four girls and theoretically this should have been my bread and butter growing up trying to learn from my older siblings. However, it never happened. As a kid I was a dancer and therefore always had my mom doing my "dance make-up" for competitions which really deterred me from the idea of daily makeup in my pre-teen years. By the time I was a full fledged teenager and probably should have been experimenting with it, I just had no interest because I had already gone so long without it. Sure I would watch my sisters getting ready to go out sometimes and be jealous of how they would blend that eyeshadow just right across their lids, or how their eyeliner was always perfectly straight, and how their cheekbones looked just right with that added rosy color. The odd time, once they'd already left to go out, I would sneak an eyeliner or a blush brush and try to practice, but I could never get it right and would give up after one or two tries. Looking back now, if I had asked my sisters or mom to show me, I'm sure they would have been glad, but I was to embarrassed because they already knew it all. Also, I could never justify spending the countless dollars on an eyeliner, eyeshadow, mascara, and all the brushes to go alone with it for that matter, so here I am, 26 years old, and I still have no idea how to get the makeup just right. Sure I can put a smudgy liner on now, and mascara I think I'm pretty okay with. I have days where I am hit and miss with a bit of bronzer but make-up/any beauty routine for that matter is just not my forte.

3. I weigh myself everyday
This sounds a lot worse than it is. You're probably thinking that if I hate that I weigh myself everyday, why don't I just stop doing it? Here's the thing: It's not that I hate that I weigh myself everyday, it's the fact that I let the resultant number affect my thinking everyday. I got a scale earlier this year and honestly I love that I finally own one. For the sheer science of it, I love jumping on and finding how different my # reads from day to day (whether I workout or not, whether I binge eat or not). However, when I notice that the number is gradually climbing up I start to worry whether it is fat or muscle making those numbers jump. But, on the contrary, when I see those numbers gradually dropping down, I start to worry that I'm losing muscle, or not eating enough to nourish myself. Sadly I am always overthinking my size and weight. Lately it's been even more of a struggle because I can't do my usual workouts and so I am trying to find other ways to maintain a fit and healthy body habitus. Over these last few weeks with my broken foot, the scale has been jumping all over the place and I just can't seem to get control of it.

4. I pick fights

Mark will vouch for me on this. I have the ability to be a very upbeat, easy going kind of person, however, for some reason it comes way to natural to me to be grouchy. Even if I have just had the best day ever, I can always find something that didn't quite sit right, and then I immediately go in one of two directions: Sit and stew over something I found annoying, or burst into a hot rage that things didn't go exactly as planned.

5. I bite my nails...still
I have spent years and years and years trying to kick this habit. I can remember from a very young age (probably about 5 or 6) when my mom would cut my nails for me and she would cut them very straight across the top. It always annoyed me how the side edges would be so pointy and sharp and so after she finished I would head up to my room and bite all the corners to try to round them out. But, because I was just a kid, I could never really manage to get them even so I would just keep biting, and biting, and biting, until I literally had next to no nail left. They would bleed all the time, but I just wouldn't let up. As I've gotten older, of course I don't let them get nearly as bad, and I've even managed to go months at a time where I won't bit them at all (usually for a bet or some sort of special occasion), but no matter what I always fall victim to this pesky little habit.

6. I can never decide what to wear
This is again something that you would think I'd be good at since I grew up with three older sisters that have a ton of fashion sense, but similar to the makeup thing, it just never happened for me. Pinterest has helped a lot in my more recent years with coming up with creating outfits, but I will forever and always struggle with how to decide what to wear in the moment. As a kid I was notorious for fighting with my mom every morning, slamming dresser drawers, crying, complaining that I had nothing suitable to wear that day. One day I would love the mickey mouse t-shirt but the next I couldn't bare to look at it. I still have this similar habit, sure I don't slam drawers and throw clothes around the room (or do I?), but one day I will love my faded rolled up jeans and decorative top, and the next day, I think they make me look like an ogre. I also struggle greatly with knowing what is appropriate for certain events. Sure again, in my more recent years, Pinterest has helped with this a lot, but even with it's help, I always doubt that I am either too fancy, or too casual or too.......anything.

7. I smile all the time, except when I don't, then I never smile

Not to go around bragging or anything, but I think the physical feature I get complimented on, or noticed the most for, is my smile. Sure I mostly have the braces to thank for that, but I am also one of those people that for the most part, I am always grinning, and not just in a "my lips have an upward turn to them" kind of way, but in a my natural facial expression seems to be a full on smile. That is, until I decide I don't want to smile anymore. Once that decision is made, usually prompted by an argument, being embarrassed, a bad day, or really any number of things, I immediately go to wrinkly chin. Yes, you read correctly, "wrinkly chin." This is something my sisters used to bug me for all the time. Anytime I got upset, irritated or anything negative, my sisters would (as any sisters would) harass me relentlessly. The moment I don't smile, I get these silly little wrinkles across my chin, and they are especially deep when I'm angry or upset and trying to hold back from smiling or laughing. And although I hate those silly wrinkles, when I get in one of those moods (remember, I pick fights), I will not put a smile back on my face until I decide it is time.

8. I take things literally

This one is a killer. I know in the wrong scenario it makes me come across as arrogant, stuck up, and probably a bit of a know-it-all, but the older I get, the more I realize it's important to just say exactly what I want, need or feel in an attempt to better communicate. I think so many relationship fail because the people have different forms of communicating, and let's be honest, Mark and I have had moments where we fail as a couple because we just don't hear each other they way the other person needs to be heard. People misread body language all the time, and if we're always expecting people to read between the lines, too much gets lost in translations and people end up hurt. However, being too literal has it's downfalls as well. The biggest one being that being so literal gives no room for real-life to take place. The only way to adjust the meaning is to change what you're saying, and to be honest, life is rarely really that cut and dry.

9. I will keep eating until it's finished, and then probably go back for more.

I'm not so bad at this when it comes to a sitting down and having a full fledged meal. I was always taught not to waste and therefore if we put it on our plate, we were expected to finish it -- makes sense. However, I'm talking more so about when it comes to making a snack, or having a bag of chips in the cupboard, or a bowl of popcorn on the table. If I bring a bag of chips with me as I sit on the couch to read my book or watch a show, there is no hope in the world that that bag will be going back in the cupboard still half full. Not only that, but even when I try portion control (I'll get a small bowl and fill it with some chips and take that to the couch with me), I'll finish it in moments, and because I know there is still 3/4 of a bag sitting in the cupboard, I go right back for more. Next thing you know, the bag is empty, I feel sick to my stomach, and full of regret, but yet, I'll do the exact same thing the next day!

10. I pick at any sort of scab, pimple, jagged edge, or ripped label

Similar to the fact that I still bite my nails, this is just one of those restless habits that I cannot seem to break. I hate the thought of a surface that is supposed to be smooth, not being smooth. Whether it's a jagged nail,  the label on a bottle, a pimple rising out of my skin, or a scab that hasn't finished healing, I am relentless. Sometimes I will even make a jagged edge, just so that I have the satisfaction of being able to pick and pick at it.

Misery loves company, so I'd love to hear some of your own "not-so-hot" habits!

Lean Forward into Your Life

It's been a few months since my last completed book, which honestly I am pretty disappointed about because usually in the summer I read at least a book a month. This summer I seem to have just completely lost all reading focus. Granted, I haven't been to the beach as much this seasons which is usually when/where I do most of my summer reading, but I plan to start to get back on track with my reading habits soon. It's amazing how much I miss ink and the written word.

So here we go, book #6 completed in 2015 - Lean Forward into Your Life by Mary Anne Radmacher


Essentially this book is a guide on how to live your life. Whether it be adjusting/adapting your emotional, physical, or mental cognizance, this book touches on all those realms. It's filled with famous (and not so famous) quotes, poems, excerpts, etc. to provide new perspectives on various aspects of life. It's filled with life stories and guidance on how to handle various challenging as well as day to day situations.

Although uniquely written (which I like), this is just not my type of book. I received it as a gift for my birthday this year and to be honest I struggled to get through it. It took me about 2.5 months to get through the first half of the book, however once I sat down and powered through, it only took me a day to get through the second half (i.e. it was an easy read). I think it's safe to say that I am just not interested in these borderline "self-help" books. I would much rather create my own lessons and develop perspectives on challenging topics from reading fictional character struggles, etc. I get very resistant and deterred when I feel like a book is "telling me what to do", and unfortunately that is exactly how I feel about this book. "Listen Hard, Live with Intention and Play with Abandon" - this is written directly on the front cover. Sure it's all great advice, but I want to develop those thoughts on my own based on reading the struggles throughout the book.

I do however, think this would be a
good read for adults that have maybe struggled gaining perspective on a life crisis and need some direction/guidance. It is a motivating book if you can get past the forcefulness of it.

Quotable Moments:
"Live boldly, not loudly. Not at the highest volume on the dial, but dialed to the best reception." pg. 23

"In the long run, men hit only what they aim at." pg. 71

"Just because a think is handed to me does not mean it must be grasped by my hand." pg. 76

"most of the things which seem so significant aren't.
don't take it personally -- it's not usually about you." pg. 109

"Everything I needed to know in life I learned skinny dipping in the Negalem River as a youngster." pg. 116

"Say thank you when you are complimented. Do not disagree or correct. Respect the opinion that has been expressed by responding graciously." pg. 129

"So many people bore me rather than interest me. I find quick judgment natural." pg. 173

"What could you learn about yourself today if you had maintained a list of the books you had read since childhood and the main lessons that each of those books contained,..." pg. 208

How do you feel about the almost-but-not-quite self-help type books?

Friday, August 14, 2015

Lifting Weights

Looks like Capt'n is trying to be supportive of my low key workout since it's all I can manage/am allowed to do with my still broken foot!

About 6 weeks left until I can amp up the intensity and get sweating hard again. I can hardly wait! 


Thursday, August 6, 2015

Broken in Whistler

Even though I re-broke my foot only a day before Mark and I were supposed to be heading to Whistler, of course, we decided to still go anyway. We were scheduled to play in a grass co-ed reverse 2s tournament through TFC Volleyball and we did not want to miss out. We had friends playing in the co-ed reverse 4s tourney on the Saturday as well, but then there were just a few of us scheduled to play in the 2s on Sunday. 

I know, I know, I shouldn't have played, I shouldn't have even gone. I should have parked my butt on the couch with ice on my foot, but I couldn't resist. It's tradition for us to play in this Whistler tournament, we've been doing it for the entire 6+ years since Mark and I have been together, so there was no way I was going to miss out. 

I wrapped my foot nice and tight and laced up my shoes really well in the morning, but needless to say the aches and pain in my foot got progressively worse as the day wore on. We went 3-2 in the round robin and then in the play-offs it went: win, lose, win, lose. Next thing we knew it was over. After our second play-off loss we were knocked out, and to be honest, although disappointed (I knew I wasn't playing to my best ability), I was slightly relieved to be able to finally tend to my foot. I immediately put my air cast back on for the walk back to the car and then wrapped my foot in ice for the 2 hour car ride back home to White Rock. 

Mark & I
(Early morning waiting to get the tournament started) 
(The field set up for 40+ teams)
The Boys
(From left to right: Kyle, Mark & Ricki)

The Girls
(From left to right: Me, Jess & Sarah)

 All in all I am happy that I was able to play, but in the grand scheme of things, I know it was a terrible idea to put so much strain on my foot after such a fresh re-injury. Needless to say, I am paying for it now, and I have my butt parked on the couch in an attempt to expedite this recovery in any way possible. 

Do you have any summer traditions that you just cannot pass up?


Back to Broken

Last week I posted about finally easing back into my usual routine of running, volleyball and head-standing. Unfortunately though, I have been set back to pretty much day one post broken foot. 

In the midst of taking it easy on my still recovering broken foot, I decided to try doing a workout with some low-impact activities (I'm supposed to be on orders of no high-impact for another two months - keep in mind though I already started jogging and played some light volleyball). Well, I did some squats, some knee push-ups, a ton of abs and then without really thinking decided to do a lunge. I learned my lesson quickly. Although a lunge can be considered low impact, the flexion on my back foot was way to extreme and I instantly felt pain shooting in my foot. I immediately stopped, sat on the couch, elevated my foot and put some ice on it. 

That night I had to work and I had a crazy busy night so unfortunately there was little to no sitting/resting for me. By the end of the shift my foot was throbbing uncontrollably. 

Here is why:
(Left: Originally fractured foot June 21, 2015, Right: Re-fractured foot August 1, 2015)
When I originally fractured my foot, I had what is called an "Oblique, non-displaced fracture of my 3rd metatarsal." (it's that's faint diagonal line in the left hand picture)

The right side picture shows what the fracture site looks like now. Sure there is evidence of bony callus forming (which means there is lots of healing going on), however, the bones aren't nearly as nicely aligned, and there are a few little "chips" coming off. 

I don't think there is much more to say other than this: I'm devastated.

I know, I know, it's my own fault for not taking a full 6 weeks to let the bones heal before any physical activity, and it's my own fault for starting running sooner than 3 months in, and it's my own fault for knowing better and still doing it all anyway. Regardless though, it doesn't make it any easier to sit here and tolerate not being able to participate in the things that for so long have defined the person I am. 

It feels impossible to just sit back and rest right now. I know my body needs it, but my mind can't handle. I'm stuck in this battle of body vs. mind and to be honest I'm not sure who is going to win.