Happy Mother's Day

To the strongest, most beautiful mother ever!

-Linds

Nothing Compares...

...to Sunday morning snuggles 

...or a leisurely stroll in nature with my boys

-Linds

Giving Up (2005)

There I was falling apart,

(Drawing from high school)

An empty soul lost in the dark.
You took my hand & held it tight.
Because of you I learned to fight.
A chance with you was more than I deserved,
But, once again I lost my turn.

Because of this hurt,
Because of this pain,
These thought have grown
That I just can't explain.

I took a chance,
You let me see
The kindness in people that makes us so free.
But a fool I was for believing such lies,
All along you knew it would end in goodbye

Because of this hurt,
Because of this pain,
These thought have grown
That I just can't explain

-Linds

Oatmeal/Eggwhite Pancake

Here is a recipe my sister recommended to me since I've been complaining about being insanely hungry all the time, now that I am exercising so frequently.

The only ingredients are (makes 1 large pancake):
-1/2cup of oats
-2/3cup of egg whites (about 3 large eggs)
-sprinkle of cinnamon
-drizzle of vanilla

Literally all you have to do is:
-combine ingredients together in a bowl
-pour into a frying pan
 -fry for approx. 4 mins
-flip
-fry for another 3 minutes or so (until golden)

This recipe is great because it's super quick, super easy (essential for my household), super filling, and super healthy (it's basically just egg whites and oatmeal)! Now, I do have to admit the pancake is a wee bit bland to taste (even with the added cinnamon & vanilla), however I've just been adding a handful of berries on top to sweeten it up, and it's delicious!

(Oateam/egg white pancake topped with blueberries)

If you're like me and struggling to find a healthy, filling snack, I highly recommend trying this out, and Ilet me know what you think!
-Linds

What's your thing?

It seems like out of everyone I meet these days, guys, girls, couples, etc., everyone seems to have a defining quality about them. There is something that sticks out so strongly that if anyone mentions their name, you immediately recognize them because of that particular thing. I'm not simply referring to physical qualities here, it could be something like a hobby or career they are known for too. 

So, that has me wondering...what is my thing, or do I even have one? Also, is it good to be known for just one defining quality....what's the saying: "jack of all trades, expert at none"?

I've always thought of myself as a relatively well rounded person but, the more I think about it, the more I realize that I am limited in the interests I pursue. I play volleyball, I jog, I workout, I read, I write, I play boardgames, I walk, I hike, I play with my dog... Although that list may seem like it has a lot of items, they are all very similar in the category under which they fall. On the other hand, I don't think I'm known particularly for just one of those items. I would love to be an expert at volleyball, or the most physically fit/toned as possible, or spend my days searching for new mountains to hike because I was running out, or be the champ at all boardgames however that just isn't the case. I simply do a little of a few things that all are very similar in their classification. 

How do you decide if this is a good or bad thing? Is it good to have a "defining quality?", and if so, how do you choose what you want that quality to be?
-Linds

Needing Some Guidance

In most areas of life I have no problem asking for help. If I didn't know something for school I would ask a friend, teacher, or parent for help to solve a problem, and if I didn't know how to do something in sports I would ask the coach or teammates to show me again and again until I figured it out.

I have however, always struggled (and still do) to ask for help when it comes to talking about my thoughts, feelings, emotions, or really, anything related to my more personal life. 

So internet world, I am going to suck it up, and do what I don't like to do. I am asking for your help.

I am currently struggling with how to handle the following:
-anger/resentment towards people that hurt me;
-yearning to prove that I am better off without the people that hurt me;
-urges to "get back" at those that hurt me.

After some self reflection it has come clear to me that I have no desire to rebuild the friendships that once were. Of course, I feel sad that I don't share those bonds any more, and don't get me wrong, it kills me any time I catch myself wanting to call those people up to chat when something important comes up however, I'm trying to value myself at a higher standard these days, and I think I'm finally comfortable saying out loud that: after how they treated me, they are not worthy of my friendship.

I am though, constantly feeling surges of frustration because I want the people that hurt me to know how badly I felt, so I want to hurt them back. But at the same time, my internal judgment kicks in, and I know that saying nothing can speak volumes louder. I feel tangled in this web struggling for mental clarity, and it makes me run through loops asking myself the following questions:

-What were they thinking?
-Did I deserve it?
-Do they regret their actions?
-What do they have to say for themselves now?

I start picturing how the conversations would take place if I were to actually go ahead and ask these questions in real life. Watching these once-friends fumble over their words, making excuses and apologies for themselves, but none of it makes me believe them, want to forgive them, or feel any better. 

So what do I do? How do I move on? How do I cut those strings loose from still having it all running on repeat in the back of my head. How do I let go of what once was, and start living working on a new and better me?
-Linds

Monthly Mayhem: April 2016

Travel:
-Vacation at Barcelo Grand Faro Los Cabos Resort (April 16-23, 2016)

(Hanging out at the Barcelo Grand Faro Los Cabos Resort)

Volleyball:
-Co-ed 6s POCO Spring Volleyball League started up (April 6, 2016)

Events\Activities:
-Beach day with Vanessa (April 8, 2016)

(Vanessa & I at White Rock West Beach)

-Mark's Dad's birthday dinner (April 30, 2016, actual bday April 23, 2016)

Fitness:
-1 week left of FBFit round 2 (taking progress pics later this week)

Food:
-Oatmeal/egg white pancake

 Ink:
-Finished: The Forgetting Time by Sharon Guskin
-Started: The French version of "This Lullaby" by Sarah Dessen

How did you spend your April?
-Linds