Tuesday, March 31, 2015


Generally speaking most of the stuff that I have posted on here so far has been relatively upbeat and positive. Unfortunately, today will not be following that theme. 

Today, I am feeling bad about myself. In fact, this has been going on for approximately 7 days now. 

I had my set of 5 nights on this past week, during which I got yelled at and scorned on every single one of those shifts. 

Our Sunday league volleyball team only went 1-5 this week. 

I weighed myself a couple times over the last couple days and I went from 148.6 to 149.3 to 151.6 lbs. I know, I know, it's just a number, but still, it can hurt. 

Yesterday I couldn't manage to get my headstand right. I know I haven't posted my most recent video yet, where I actually complete a successful headstand, but yesterday during my practice I could hardly even get my stance right. My balance was just way out of wack. 

This morning when I got up, I thought maybe running might pick my spirits up after the long, crummy week I've had but, sure enough, I had a side stitch within the first two minutes, and Captain literally pulled me the entire time. I only lasted 20 minutes. 

Now, don't get me wrong, I know that these are all nothing to fret about in the grand scheme of things. I should be happy that I have a job, glad that we didn't go 0-6, pleased that I'm not up to 155lbs, be impressed that I can even do a headstand, and be satisfied that I at least attempted a run, but for some reason I just can't seem to shake this heavy weight on my shoulders. 

I thought with all this beautiful weather we are having lately that I was going to feel so upbeat and positively glowing but it's just not happening. So today, I leave with this......a big, fat, ugh.....and hopefully tomorrow things will turn around. 

How are you feeling this week?


  1. So sorry about your crappy week! How sucky. We all get them, you're not alone! Lately I've been inhaling peanut M&Ms like they're going out of style, and today I felt bloated, fat and ugly. Yuck. Our job can be intense sometimes, show them who's boss! No rude behaviour allowed. Venting helps sometimes, I hope you feel a bit better!

  2. Thanks for the support Miriam! I tried my hardest to stay super chipper for my last two nights but I just couldn't muster the energy any longer. And yes, agreed, venting helps. Poor Mark had to listen to me moan and groan for five days straight.
    I had a good long run today though so I'm feeling much more upbeat!

  3. Hope you are feeling better! I think we all go through this from time to time, I know I have. That's fantastic you achieved a headstand! I know you will get back to it, I'm sure it was just because you were feeling so off overall. One yoga instructor said that the balance poses are very telling because you can't hide in them, if you are off balanced mentally (not in the now/focused on just the mat) then it will show.

    1. You bet, I'm feeling much better this week. So true what you said about the mental balance required for yoga! I'm back into my swing of things those this week so I think things should be looking up :)

  4. Linds you are beautiful inside and out!!! Stop looking at the scale!!! Look in the mirror!! I'm the same weight and same fluctuating weight issue as you and I give up entirely hahaha I've decided to just be happy with myself no matter what! Xo